I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
