i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
