At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I have tasted many bathrooms
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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