I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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