i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
