some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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