yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
