I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
