so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
