threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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