I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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