Don't make out with my wife yet
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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