Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
