Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
