HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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