walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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