these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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