I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
