Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
