Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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