3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
