And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
