It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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