Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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