Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
accomplished twins. life is a go
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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