I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
