you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
