worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
