If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
