If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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