Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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