"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
