I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
