I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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