can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
zippers are such a cool invention
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
