whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
