If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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