So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
