I think my vagina is haunted
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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