I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
