I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
