I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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