margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So many bounce houses so little time
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
