It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
