I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
