You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
