She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
