my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
