I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
