told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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