If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
