she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
