i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
