the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
