I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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