i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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